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Sunday, August 28, 2005 |
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| I am such a crystal ball reader! |
I knew it! I jst bloody well knew it!!! *ARGH* i hate my fuck damn life!!!!! am i getting my point across?!?!? Do u wana kno y? u can prob guess wat it has to do wit...yep dats it - HIM!
Once again i did not see him on fri or sat at work rite so i sed to myself mayb this is a sign to get ova him. So u kno wat? I actually tried to get ova him. Forced myself not to think about him and not seeing him wouldve made it that much easier. I was doing sooooo well. I was even put in childrenswear today at work and i was sorta glad cuz i saw both freak/creep and HIM as i rocked up to work. I really was not in the mood to see either of them and with HIM, well u kno, i had to get ova him so not seeing him helps.
So i was enjoying the secluded registers of childrenswear (which is still on the same level as miss shop and HIS dept) and i think i was jst standing there and all of a sudden i turn and see HIM walking towards me and i remember thinking to myself "argh great, ruined my getting ova him" yet at the same time i was kinda excited to see him. I swear i hate myself. I jst knew as soon as i wanted to get ova him, he wud show his face! So yeh wen he came ova i cudnt help but ask where he has been cuz i hadnt seen him in like half a month (but who's counting ay?!) So either way, i kno he didnt quit and i was asking him (it was jst sumhow the topic) if he was desperate to quit but he was like not really cuz hes still at uni etc etc (so is it a gd thing??) *sigh* wen he left i was full screaming in my head and heart and making all these dramatic moves and i fink this customer jst gave me a strange look! but i swear i HATE him!!! i hate him for not being at work wen i most wanted to see him but as soon as i wanted to get ova him he shows his face again out of the blue!
You kno, the worst thing was that wen he came to me he was asking if i knew where one of my fellow miss shop buddies was but like as if u wud go all the way to where i was working wen there were plenty of ppl to ask in the miss shop dept. I dont even kno how he knew i was there in the first place. Like i thort it was a pretty gd hiding place u kno!
As if that wasnt bad enuff. I was almost finished work so i jst wanted to get out of there not seeing him again u kno. So i was saying goodbye to all my miss shop buddies and as i was walking to one of them, HIM and i made eye contact one last time and he was jst smiling at me so i had to smile bak and i duno, we jst held our gaze for a while as he was going up the escalators. But yeh OMG that jst made me even more pissed off cuz i really did not need that man!!!! I could not get ova it as i was on the train. I hav no idea if i was talking out loud but i felt like i was talking so vigorously in my head that it may as well hav been out loud. I hate not having my frends there to talk to wen i hav problems cuz i hav to resort to talking to myself.
You kno wat? I cant even get ova how gd he smells! omg u kno how smelling is linked very closely to memory so its jst sumfing u cant get out of ur head that easily. I remember wen he was standing there wen we were talkin and i cudnt stop smelling that scent he has! omg omg omg i HATE him for doing this to me. I hate how wen i wanted to see him he wasnt there and wen i tried to get ova him he has to turn up outta the blue.
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! i need psychiatric help!
.::.PeAcE.::.
((song of the moment: KELLY CLARKSON - Because of You))
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| $éÑøЯiŦå Confessed @ 10:13 pm |
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| 2 Comments: |
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Sorrie, ur shrink was busy doing an assignment so she may one day become a registered shrink.
I came on like an hr afta u posted, and u were already gone.
We talk tmr alrite??
Hel.
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Trust me u cant FORCE urself to get over it... maybe force urself into thinking ur over it.... but not actually get over it...
u know ive been trying to force myself for 2 goddam yrs to get over *him*. it jst doesnt work...
and why do u want to be over it anyway?
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Sorrie, ur shrink was busy doing an assignment so she may one day become a registered shrink.
I came on like an hr afta u posted, and u were already gone.
We talk tmr alrite??
Hel.