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  Sunday, September 04, 2005  
 
 
New Discovery
It seems as tho i hav learnt a few things this w/e. First of all, i found out HE only works every second w/e, which means he is a p/t-er. He cant b a casual cuz we dont get w/e's off and he cant b a f/t-er cuz he still goes to uni. Not that it reali matters that he's a p/t-er but at least now i kno not to expect him to b at work every second w/e. I found out from the chik that HE almost always asks if i kno where she is and i was telling her that he always asks where she is and she was telling me that her frend thinks HE likes her. So now i hav another thing to consider. The thing is, he almost equally asks for another chik too that has now left. So does that mean he likes them both?! hmmm...i duno, i giv up wit men!

Creep was at work on sat tho. How EXCITING. I duno if it was jst me but i felt as tho as soon as i went into the fitting room, he comes in wit a pile of clothes to giv us. Coincidence? Perhaps, but he jst makes me feel as tho he is watching my every move. I got the shivers jst thinking about him peering at me thru nooks and crannies *yuk* do u reckon i shud jst talk to him? is it worth it?

Ok well the next thing i learnt was that trying to think positively jst doesnt work for me. I know that God is there and perhaps He does want the best for all of us. Even if He is waiting for the rite guy for me, i still hav those moments. I honestly cried myself to sleep again last nite. It was like almost 1am and i jst kept thinking about how almost everyone i kno has a bf and i cant even get a guy to ask me out. I thought about how i mite get to 28 and still be single, not even b asked out. I thought of going thru life not being able to experience wat everyone has gotten to experience. Im prob the only one that hasnt even kissed a guy! I feel so left out. My tears were jst flowing like a tap that hadnt been turned off properly. I honestly hav gone thru my WHOLE life having jst one half (mayb even a quarter) successful outcome of liking a guy. Every other guy i hav liked has either rejected me, been taken or jst messing around with me. Ive waited all my life and im jst sooooooo sick of waiting. OMG tears r swelling from my eyes as im talking about this. Why hav i jst had so much bad luck wit guys?! Am i EVER going to get to experience wat EVERYONE my age has already experienced??? Mayb i was jst destined to be alone. Might as well accept my fate ay...

*cries* - I'll neva b able to get ova this. I feel like im going thru my end-teen crisis or sumfing. I jst wish there was a guy that wud jst come and put an end to all my miseries. But in the meantime i guess i'll jst cry myself to sleep every night.

.::.PeAcE.::.

song of the moment: THE BEATLES - So How Come (Noone Loves Me)
*the lyrics describe my situation sooooo well!*
$éÑøЯiŦå Confessed @ 4:55 pm  
2 Comments:

  • At 12:00 am, September 05, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    ^ do u know that person?

    and i know how u feel
    i mean yeh i had matt, but kissing that i mean it doesnt mean anything, go kiss the dishwasher and ull be on par with me!!
    *shudders*

    Just gotta remember good things come to those who wait...
    tho seeing amy so happy does make me jealous hehehe
    and there is the question of where am i gonna meet a guy? where do ppl meet guys? i never go out so that doesnt help
    i hate my life too =) jst kidding, i dont hate it, i jst hate it until i finish uni and get a life

     

  • At 9:03 pm, September 09, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    HAHAHA!!! Dishwasher! Amy S, you're hilarious~

    You know it's not all flowers in bloom when you have a boyfriend... Sure the first few months is great, but then problems just start coming out and it's more like rotten flowers unless you work really hard to grow them again... (Excuse the flower analogy)

    *SIGH* Good things come to those who wait... I don't know how true that is, but it's not like you have a choice ey? Might as well think on the bright side. In the mean time enjoy not having a lousy boyfriend making you miserable, hun.

    (OO)

     
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